GAME
2% or 98%
This is strange...can you figure it out?
Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
• Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
• There's no trick or surprise.
• Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!
• Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done eac! h of them ... really.
• Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something.)
Think of a number from 1 to 10
Multiply that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together
Now subtract 5
Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with
(example: 1=a, 2=b, 3=c,etc.)
Think of a country that starts with that letter.
Remember the last letter of the name of that country.
Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.
Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.
Think of the name of a ! fruit that starts with that letter.
Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange?
I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. ! 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise.
Friday, July 31, 2009
2 US Presidents & A Dollar trick......Just amazing!
it’s just Amazing...........!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy………………..History With…………………….Mystery.
Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Creepy Co-incidence?!
Send this to as many people as you can, cause:……….
This is one history lesson most people probably will not mind reading!
Enjoy………………..History With…………………….Mystery.
Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln 's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln .
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called ' Lincoln ' made by 'Ford.'
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Creepy Co-incidence?!
Send this to as many people as you can, cause:……….
This is one history lesson most people probably will not mind reading!
Woman vs Man (Perfect mail)
How to make a woman happy
and
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
To make a woman happy
..... A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes
&
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Leave him alone
and
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
To make a woman happy
..... A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes
&
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Leave him alone
Just Friends VS. Best Friends
Just Friends VS. Best Friends
A Just Friend says..hi,..hello, ..bye,... and walks away...
A Best friend always stop by your side & asks how r u doing ??
A Just Friend has never seen you cry.
A Best friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A Just Friend thinks the friendship is over, when you have an argument.
A Best friend knows that it's not a friendship, until after you've had a fight.
A Just Friend hates it when you call, after he has gone to bed.
A Best friend asks you.... why you took so long to call.
A Just Friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A Best friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A Just Friend jealous about your romantic history.
A Best friend wonders of your love story.....
A Just Friend expects you to be always there for any help.
A Best friend is always there, wherever you require any help.
A Just Friend doesn't have time in his/her busy schedule,
A Best friend always have time for you in his/her busy schedules... .
A Just Friend phones you whenever he/she has some work,
A Best friend calls you often just to hear your voice.....
A Just Friend doesnt have anything to talk to you on phone,
A Best friend doesnt know...what all to finish...
A Just Friend says..hi,..hello, ..bye,... and walks away...
A Best friend always stop by your side & asks how r u doing ??
A Just Friend has never seen you cry.
A Best friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A Just Friend thinks the friendship is over, when you have an argument.
A Best friend knows that it's not a friendship, until after you've had a fight.
A Just Friend hates it when you call, after he has gone to bed.
A Best friend asks you.... why you took so long to call.
A Just Friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A Best friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A Just Friend jealous about your romantic history.
A Best friend wonders of your love story.....
A Just Friend expects you to be always there for any help.
A Best friend is always there, wherever you require any help.
A Just Friend doesn't have time in his/her busy schedule,
A Best friend always have time for you in his/her busy schedules... .
A Just Friend phones you whenever he/she has some work,
A Best friend calls you often just to hear your voice.....
A Just Friend doesnt have anything to talk to you on phone,
A Best friend doesnt know...what all to finish...
Bosssssssss
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was $250.
"$250", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. "He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.
Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "$1,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.
But the other two call him "Team Leader "!!
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was $250.
"$250", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk. "He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, $500, but he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.
Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "$1,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost $1,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.
But the other two call him "Team Leader "!!
Interesting facts one should know...
Interesting...Facts...one should know....
'Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand .
And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'. ? (Are you doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to 'do' this one.)
There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
(You're not doubting this, are you?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.' (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.)
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes .
A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.!)
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that also)
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that.)
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Now you know more than you did before!!
'Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand .
And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'. ? (Are you doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to 'do' this one.)
There are only four words in the English language which end in 'dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
(You're not doubting this, are you?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: 'abstemious' and 'facetious.' (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.)
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes .
A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.!)
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that also)
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that.)
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Now you know more than you did before!!
Ek dum jhakas..........................
HAVE A BLAST ....................
Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from
a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of
crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel
to the crocodiles.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of
eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby
clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Beggar: Saab 12Rs do na coffee peeni hai.
Man: Lekin coffee to 6Rs ki hai?
Beggar: Par saab girlfrend bhi to hai.
Man: Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali.
Beggar: Na saab,GF ne Bhikari bana diya!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wats the diff between Complete & Finished?
If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from
a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of
crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel
to the crocodiles.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of
eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby
clothes.
2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
mathematical proof Just for fun....
Hi all, below is the mathematical proof of human married life.
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work.
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Men = Donkry + earn money
Therefore:
Men-earn money = Donkey
In other words
Men who d'nt earn mony = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3
Women= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Women = Donkey + spend
Women - spend = Donkey
In other words,
Women who don't spend = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men who don't earn money = Women who don't spend
So Men earn money not to let women become donkey!
And women spend not to let men become donkey!
So, We have:
Men + Women = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Men + Women = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy
Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work.
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ ++ ++
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Men = Donkry + earn money
Therefore:
Men-earn money = Donkey
In other words
Men who d'nt earn mony = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
Equation 3
Women= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore:
Women = Donkey + spend
Women - spend = Donkey
In other words,
Women who don't spend = Donkey
++++++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +++++++++ +
To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men who don't earn money = Women who don't spend
So Men earn money not to let women become donkey!
And women spend not to let men become donkey!
So, We have:
Men + Women = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money
Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Men + Women = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!
CAN U SOLVE THIS?
-----
I GIVE YOU 3 DIGITS AND RESULT AND YOU MUST PUT ALL THE SIGNS NECESSARY TO RESTORE THE EQUALITY
I GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE .THE REMAINDER YOU SOLVE YOURSELF
2 + 2 + 2 = 6
EASY ! ISN'T THIS ? IT IS THE SAME FOR THE REMAINDER :
1 1 1 = 6
2 2 2 = 6
3 3 3 = 6
4 4 4 = 6
5 5 5 = 6
6 6 6 = 6
7 7 7 = 6
8 8 8 = 6
9 9 9 = 6
I GIVE YOU 3 DIGITS AND RESULT AND YOU MUST PUT ALL THE SIGNS NECESSARY TO RESTORE THE EQUALITY
I GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE .THE REMAINDER YOU SOLVE YOURSELF
2 + 2 + 2 = 6
EASY ! ISN'T THIS ? IT IS THE SAME FOR THE REMAINDER :
1 1 1 = 6
2 2 2 = 6
3 3 3 = 6
4 4 4 = 6
5 5 5 = 6
6 6 6 = 6
7 7 7 = 6
8 8 8 = 6
9 9 9 = 6
Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State...
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move
faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do
something which will last until the coffee is cold.
faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do
something which will last until the coffee is cold.
For a lighter moment for a while ......
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged,since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.
I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.
Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him.
She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged,since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.
I am so sorry, but he's dead.'
Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Cleverest? Deadly at Scrabble....
This has got to be one of the most clever e -mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE
PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN
MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROO M
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!
DILIP VENGSARKAR
When you rearrange the letters:
SPARKLING DRIVE
PRINCESS DIANA
When you rearrange the letters:
END IS A CAR SPIN
MONICA LEWINSKY
When you rearrange the letters:
NICE SILKY WOMAN
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROO M
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER
DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS
Some interesting facts ........
Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream.
You use 200 muscles to take one step.
The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate,
and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
Your thumb is the same length of your nose.
At this very moment I know well you are putting this last fact to the test...
...now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to the
friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well. :)
You use 200 muscles to take one step.
The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate,
and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
Your thumb is the same length of your nose.
At this very moment I know well you are putting this last fact to the test...
...now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on to the
friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well. :)
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Why are we so easy to be identified?....some interesting facts...
WHY ARE WE ((INDIANS) SO EASY TO BE IDENTIFIED?
1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2.. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
3. You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.
5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini..)
8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere,
close to their real names.
9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed.'
10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
12. HIGH PRIORITY ***** You use plastic to cover anything new in your house
whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch. *****
13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think.
14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.
15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
16.. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)
19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel
(and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
27. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.
28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight .
29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.
30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign
countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them
from getting dirty.
33. Its embarrassing if you're wedding has less than 600 people.
34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
37. You have really enjoyed reading this mail - forward it
to as many Indians as possible.
I STILL LOVE TO BE AN INDIAN
1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.
2.. You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and of course aluminum foil.
3. You are always standing next to the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.
4. You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and think it's normal.
5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.
6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.
7. You name your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini..)
8. All your children have pet names, which sound nowhere,
close to their real names.
9. You take Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed.'
10. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
11. You load up the family car with as many people as possible.
12. HIGH PRIORITY ***** You use plastic to cover anything new in your house
whether it's the remote control, VCR, carpet or new couch. *****
13. Your parents tell you not to care what your friends think, but they won't let you do certain things because of what the other 'Uncles and Aunties' will think.
14. You buy and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.
15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on your kitchen table.
16.. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
17. You keep leftover food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as possible.
18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got free with purchase of other stuff)
19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel
(and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
21. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
22. You live with your parents and you are 40 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
23. You don't use measuring cups when cooking.
24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.
25. You can only travel if there are 5 persons at least to see you off or receive you whether you are traveling by bus, train or plane.
26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always take interest in knowing whose daughter has run with whose son and feel proud to spread it at the velocity of more than the speed of light.
27. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.
28. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight .
29. You call an older person you never met before Uncle or Aunty.
30. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
31. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign
countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making foreign calls.
32. You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep them
from getting dirty.
33. Its embarrassing if you're wedding has less than 600 people.
34. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.
36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.
37. You have really enjoyed reading this mail - forward it
to as many Indians as possible.
I STILL LOVE TO BE AN INDIAN
Bechara Bond... ..
On a flight James Bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.
Telugu Guy:
"Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "My name is Bond". Continuing in his inimitable style, "James Bond".
Then Bond asks: "And you?"
Telugu Guy says: "My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."
Since then when anyone from India asks Bond his name, he simply says "James "
Telugu Guy:
"Hello, May I know your name please?"
James Bond: "My name is Bond". Continuing in his inimitable style, "James Bond".
Then Bond asks: "And you?"
Telugu Guy says: "My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."
Since then when anyone from India asks Bond his name, he simply says "James "
beauty of maths !!
Beauty of Mathematics…
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10 = 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10 = 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
How to identify a Software Engineer?
How to identify a Software Engineer
1. He/She never bargains… No wonder things have become so costly!
2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven't slept for years…
3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon…
4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what 'foreign land' is called] are the ones that would be used by 'default'…
5. Weekends are holy words… they are like a salvation one seeks for…
6. "Wazzzup", "Hows life?", are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by "how's work?"
7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in…
8. They don't send or take things… they always forward them!
9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day…
10.They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do… When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room"
11.Mondays are always blue…
12.All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now…
1. He/She never bargains… No wonder things have become so costly!
2. When a cab/bus passes by and you see all the commuters in it are sleeping like they haven't slept for years…
3. Dilbert or Calvin is their favorite cartoon…
4. Words like issues, tracker, raising requests, buzz/ping, compile, delete [unlike erase or rub it off], onsite [n not abroad is what 'foreign land' is called] are the ones that would be used by 'default'…
5. Weekends are holy words… they are like a salvation one seeks for…
6. "Wazzzup", "Hows life?", are few obvious questions one will be greeted with which would be immediately followed by "how's work?"
7. Salaries, work etc are always better or in good shape in other companies than the one he/she is currently in…
8. They don't send or take things… they always forward them!
9. Drinking coffee is the most pleasurable thing they think they do in the entire day…
10.They seek a search engine in just almost everything they do… When I forget where I have kept my things at home the first thing that comes to my mind is "I wish there was a Google search for my room"
11.Mondays are always blue…
12.All of them will have a dream to do something in life and that something would never be what they are doing right now…
Ultimate Buttler English_ Dont miss even one word.
In Tamilnadu , there is a well known person by name , Mr. Jeppier , Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges , always speaks in English. That college students have collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English"
. Njoy .............with his.......... .....English. ......... .......
Now , here are some classic English sentences from the great
"Jappier's Spoken English"
# At the ground:
-------------------
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her....{Means: girl with specs please come here).
# To a boy , angrily:
----------------------
I talk , he talk , why you middle middle talk?
# While punishing students:
--------------------------------
You , rotate the ground four times...
You , go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)
# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict ABT this )
-------------------------------------------------------------
Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt , U shirt , V shirt.. But if you want to wear ... Remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the campus
# Sir at his best:
-------------------
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance , he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre , though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"
# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
-------------------------------------------
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet , boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You , meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....
Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences.......
Once Sir had come late to a college function , by the time he reached , the function had begun , so he went to the dais , and said , sorry I am late , because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
At Sathyabama college day 2002:
"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks , I the happy , tomorrow u get good job , jpr the happy , tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"
At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "
. Njoy .............with his.......... .....English. ......... .......
Now , here are some classic English sentences from the great
"Jappier's Spoken English"
# At the ground:
-------------------
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
The girl with the mirror please comes her....{Means: girl with specs please come here).
# To a boy , angrily:
----------------------
I talk , he talk , why you middle middle talk?
# While punishing students:
--------------------------------
You , rotate the ground four times...
You , go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)
# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict ABT this )
-------------------------------------------------------------
Every body should wear dress to college
Boys no proplum
Girls are pig proplum . (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.
Girls should not wear T sirt , U shirt , V shirt.. But if you want to wear ... Remove it when inside the campus and put it oout side the campus
# Sir at his best:
-------------------
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance , he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre , though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"
# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
-------------------------------------------
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet , boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
You , meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is cool >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....
Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences.......
Once Sir had come late to a college function , by the time he reached , the function had begun , so he went to the dais , and said , sorry I am late , because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
At Sathyabama college day 2002:
"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks , I the happy , tomorrow u get good job , jpr the happy , tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"
At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "
Pricessless words! (ITS AWESOME)
PRICELESS WORDS
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"
Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last
night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "
There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"
Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last
night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "
There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy
Are you an Out of The Box Thinker..??
What's your score
Dear All,
Its high time that we know if each of us is a out of box thinker or not….. So here are some brain benders…..
Brain Benders: Each Right Question receives 1 point (a total of 9 points for 9 questions. No points for wrong answer.
Score:
o 0 points: Needs help!
o 1 - 3 points: Good Thinker
o 4 - 6 points: Intelligent
o 7 - 9 points: Extraordinary
Its easy to scroll thro the answer… Just give a Serious and sincere try.
Q1: A father and his son are involved in a car accident, as a result of which the son is rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. The surgeon looks at him and says "I can't operate on him, he's my son". Explain. (The answer is not "step-father"!)
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Q1 Ans: The surgeon is the mother!
Q2: What can you hold in your right hand, but not in your left?
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Q2 Ans: Left Elbow.
Q3: How many birthdays does a typical woman have?
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Q3 Ans: 1 birthday.
Q4: If a plane crashes on the Indian/Pakistan border, where do you bury the survivors?
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Q4 Ans: You can't burry survivors!
Q5: A cowboy rode into town on Friday, spent one night there, and left on Friday. How do you account for this?
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Q5 Ans: The name of his horse was Friday.
Q6: Which side of a cat contains the most hair?
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Q6 Ans: The outside.
Q7: Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
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Q7 Ans: The man is dead so he can't marry even if he wanted to!
Q8: Gaurav looked through the dirty window on the 24th floor of his office building. Depressed, he slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop from the building to the ground. Miraculously after he landed he was completely unhurt. There was nothing to cushion his fall or slow his descent, yet he survived. Explain?
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Q8 Ans: Gaurav being a window cleaner, was cleaning the window form the outside, opened the window, and jumped inside.
Q9 : Why can't a man living in Delhi not be buried in Mumbai?
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Q9 Ans: Because the man is still alive!
Sounds Crazy ha…
So Whats the score..??
Dear All,
Its high time that we know if each of us is a out of box thinker or not….. So here are some brain benders…..
Brain Benders: Each Right Question receives 1 point (a total of 9 points for 9 questions. No points for wrong answer.
Score:
o 0 points: Needs help!
o 1 - 3 points: Good Thinker
o 4 - 6 points: Intelligent
o 7 - 9 points: Extraordinary
Its easy to scroll thro the answer… Just give a Serious and sincere try.
Q1: A father and his son are involved in a car accident, as a result of which the son is rushed to hospital for emergency surgery. The surgeon looks at him and says "I can't operate on him, he's my son". Explain. (The answer is not "step-father"!)
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Q1 Ans: The surgeon is the mother!
Q2: What can you hold in your right hand, but not in your left?
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Q2 Ans: Left Elbow.
Q3: How many birthdays does a typical woman have?
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Q3 Ans: 1 birthday.
Q4: If a plane crashes on the Indian/Pakistan border, where do you bury the survivors?
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Q4 Ans: You can't burry survivors!
Q5: A cowboy rode into town on Friday, spent one night there, and left on Friday. How do you account for this?
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Q5 Ans: The name of his horse was Friday.
Q6: Which side of a cat contains the most hair?
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Q6 Ans: The outside.
Q7: Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
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Q7 Ans: The man is dead so he can't marry even if he wanted to!
Q8: Gaurav looked through the dirty window on the 24th floor of his office building. Depressed, he slid the window open and jumped through it. It was a sheer drop from the building to the ground. Miraculously after he landed he was completely unhurt. There was nothing to cushion his fall or slow his descent, yet he survived. Explain?
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Q8 Ans: Gaurav being a window cleaner, was cleaning the window form the outside, opened the window, and jumped inside.
Q9 : Why can't a man living in Delhi not be buried in Mumbai?
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Q9 Ans: Because the man is still alive!
Sounds Crazy ha…
So Whats the score..??
Daily Inspiration: Critics
Critics
Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course under disciplehood of a great painter. This young artist decided to assess his skills of skills so he decided to give his best strokes on the canvass. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery.
Suddenly an idea flashed in his mind and he decided to display it on a busy street-square of that small town he was resident of. He wanted people's opinion about his calibre and painting skills..
He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read-"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."
While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.
Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his masters place and burst into tears. Sobbing and crying inconsolably he told his master about what happened and showed the pathetic state of his creation which was filled with marks everywhere. Such was the state that colours were not visible, only things one could see were crosses and correction remarks.
This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely.. I feel like dying"
Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt a flawless painting."
Young disciple couldn't believe it and said "I have lost faith in me and I don't think I am good enough.. don't make false hopes.."
"Do as I say without questioning it.. It WILL work." Master interrupted him.
"Just paint exactly similar painting once again for me and give it to me. Will you do that for your master?.." Master instructed.
Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.
"Come with me." master said.
They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colours and brushes just below. Please do a favour. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."
Master and disciple walked back home.
They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. But master wasn't satisfied as yet and he told his disciple "May be one day was too little a time for people to come up with ideas and take out time out of their busy schedules to correct it so let us keep it here for one more day. Tomorrow is Sunday, so we can expect some corrections coming in."
Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched..
They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!
It is easier to criticize, but difficult to improve. If you want to help people improve their behaviour it is worth investing your effort in learning how help people change their behaviours, attitudes and skill
Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course under disciplehood of a great painter. This young artist decided to assess his skills of skills so he decided to give his best strokes on the canvass. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery.
Suddenly an idea flashed in his mind and he decided to display it on a busy street-square of that small town he was resident of. He wanted people's opinion about his calibre and painting skills..
He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read-"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."
While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.
Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his masters place and burst into tears. Sobbing and crying inconsolably he told his master about what happened and showed the pathetic state of his creation which was filled with marks everywhere. Such was the state that colours were not visible, only things one could see were crosses and correction remarks.
This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely.. I feel like dying"
Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt a flawless painting."
Young disciple couldn't believe it and said "I have lost faith in me and I don't think I am good enough.. don't make false hopes.."
"Do as I say without questioning it.. It WILL work." Master interrupted him.
"Just paint exactly similar painting once again for me and give it to me. Will you do that for your master?.." Master instructed.
Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.
"Come with me." master said.
They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colours and brushes just below. Please do a favour. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."
Master and disciple walked back home.
They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. But master wasn't satisfied as yet and he told his disciple "May be one day was too little a time for people to come up with ideas and take out time out of their busy schedules to correct it so let us keep it here for one more day. Tomorrow is Sunday, so we can expect some corrections coming in."
Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched..
They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in!
It is easier to criticize, but difficult to improve. If you want to help people improve their behaviour it is worth investing your effort in learning how help people change their behaviours, attitudes and skill
DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH
DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACHIt is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value. We publish below a description of use of water for our readers. For old and serious diseases as well as modern illnesses the water treatment had been found successful by a Japanese medical society as a 100% cure for the following diseases:
Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.
METHOD OF TREATMENT
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.
The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases: 1. High Blood Pressure (30 days)
2. Gastric (10 days)
3. Diabetes (30 days)
4. Constipation (10 days)
5. Cancer (180 days)
6. TB (90 days)
7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards – daily.
This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.
It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.
This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals ..not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain...
For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.
It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.
Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.
Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks: • Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting,
• Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
• You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
• Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
• 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
• Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive...
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.
Headache, body ache, heart system, arthritis, fast heart beat, epilepsy, excess fatness, bronchitis asthma, TB, meningitis, kidney and urine diseases, vomiting, gastritis, diarrhea, piles, diabetes, constipation, all eye diseases, womb, cancer and menstrual disorders, ear nose and throat diseases.
METHOD OF TREATMENT
1. As you wake up in the morning before brushing teeth, drink 4 x 160ml glasses of water
2. Brush and clean the mouth but do not eat or drink anything for 45 minute
3. After 45 minutes you may eat and drink as normal.
4. After 15 minutes of breakfast, lunch and dinner do not eat or drink anything for 2 hours
5. Those who are old or sick and are unable to drink 4 glasses of water at the beginning may commence by taking little water and gradually increase it to 4 glasses per day.
6. The above method of treatment will cure diseases of the sick and others can enjoy a healthy life.
The following list gives the number of days of treatment required to cure/control/reduce main diseases: 1. High Blood Pressure (30 days)
2. Gastric (10 days)
3. Diabetes (30 days)
4. Constipation (10 days)
5. Cancer (180 days)
6. TB (90 days)
7. Arthritis patients should follow the above treatment only for 3 days in the 1st week, and from 2nd week onwards – daily.
This treatment method has no side effects, however at the commencement of treatment you may have to urinate a few times.
It is better if we continue this and make this procedure as a routine work in our life. Drink Water and Stay healthy and Active.
This makes sense .. The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals ..not cold water. Maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating!!! Nothing to lose, everything to gain...
For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you.
It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion.
Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine.
Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.
A serious note about heart attacks: • Women should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting,
• Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.
• You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.
• Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms.
• 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up.
• Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive...
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this mail sends it to everyone they know, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.
Never go to HR for salary problem (Very Interesting Read it!!!)
Understand what is HR
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to His HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying. My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
Have a Nice Day.
HR = HIGH RISK
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to His HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying. My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
Have a Nice Day.
HR = HIGH RISK
30 Real Feelings of Girls ...
30 Real Feelings of Girls
1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.....
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25..... A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
1. When a girl says she's sad, but she isn't crying, it means she's crying in her heart.
2. When she ignores you after you've done something wrong, it's best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.
3. A girl can't find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which is why it is so hard for her to 'get over him' after the relationship's over.)
4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.
5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she will melt.
6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.
7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?
8. If you don't like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.
9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.
10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).
11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.
12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.
13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.
14. A smile means a lot to a girl.
15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.
16. If a girl says she can't go out with you because she has to study, leave.
17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.
18. Don't try to guess a girl's feelings. Ask her.....
19. Hearing the words "I love you" is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.
20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she'll wonder why she never noticed him before.
21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.
22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.
23. A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.
24. Girls love having fun!
25..... A simple 'Hi' can brighten a girl's day.
26. A girl's best friends usually know best what she is feeling and going through.
27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their 'prettier' friend.
28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.
29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.
30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.
Funky Advises...
. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.
3 . Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
4. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
5. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!
6. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???
7. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…
8. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it.
3 . Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
4. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
5. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!
6. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???
7. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…
8. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!
Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs!
Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs!
SHARE ME :
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
SHARE ME :
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Love letter.........
How does a dedicated HR chap start off his love life?
I know... a letter is one of the first things that anyone can think of and so does he too.
This was his first letter to his love.
Bangalore
15-Feb-2006
To
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that,
I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs,
I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would
be made permanent Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and
performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee
and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled
without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter
to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romeo - HR Manager
I know... a letter is one of the first things that anyone can think of and so does he too.
This was his first letter to his love.
Bangalore
15-Feb-2006
To
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms Juliet,
I am very happy to inform you that,
I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).
With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500 hrs,
I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would
be made permanent Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and
performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee
and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled
without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter
to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romeo - HR Manager
mobile quality
Would you like to know if your mobile is original or not ?????
Press the following on your mobile *#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears. Then check the 7th and 8th numbers:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 th 8 th 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Phone serial no. x x x x x x ? ? x x x x x x x
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 02 or 20 this means your cell phone was assembled in Emirates which is very Bad quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 08 or 80 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 01 or 10 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 00 this means your cell phone was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 13 this means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health
Press the following on your mobile *#06# and the-international mobile equipment identity number appears. Then check the 7th and 8th numbers:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 th 8 th 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Phone serial no. x x x x x x ? ? x x x x x x x
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 02 or 20 this means your cell phone was assembled in Emirates which is very Bad quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 08 or 80 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Germany which is fair quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 01 or 10 this means your cell phone was manufactured in Finland which is very Good
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 00 this means your cell phone was manufactured in original factory which is the best Mobile Quality
IF the Seventh & Eighth digits are 13 this means your cell phone was assembled in Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and also dangerous for your health
NEVER LIGHT CANDLE in A/C ROOM
NEVER LIGHT CANDLE in A/C ROOM
Hi ALL,
Very important - NEVERLIGHT CANDLE in A/C ROOM.
Prevention is better than cure... Please read this and pass on...
NEVER LIGHT CANDLE in A.C. ROOM.
A friend in our group passed away last week due to carbon-monoxide poisoning. It happened when she lighted an aroma therapeutic candle for the night in a room with air-conditioner ON.
Due to lack of oxygen in the room, the burning of the candle cannot fully oxidize & thus forms dangerous carbon monoxide.
Carbon monoxide will prevent oxygen exchange in the lungs, resulting in the person dozing off to a state of unconsciousness & eventually death in less than an hour, depending on the room size.
This email is to make you aware of such danger when lighting aroma therapeutic candles in any unventilated rooms.
Please forward this e-mail to all your friends.
Hi ALL,
Very important - NEVERLIGHT CANDLE in A/C ROOM.
Prevention is better than cure... Please read this and pass on...
NEVER LIGHT CANDLE in A.C. ROOM.
A friend in our group passed away last week due to carbon-monoxide poisoning. It happened when she lighted an aroma therapeutic candle for the night in a room with air-conditioner ON.
Due to lack of oxygen in the room, the burning of the candle cannot fully oxidize & thus forms dangerous carbon monoxide.
Carbon monoxide will prevent oxygen exchange in the lungs, resulting in the person dozing off to a state of unconsciousness & eventually death in less than an hour, depending on the room size.
This email is to make you aware of such danger when lighting aroma therapeutic candles in any unventilated rooms.
Please forward this e-mail to all your friends.
Who s the best---INFY Vs Wipro Vs TCS!!!
Who is the BEST - Infosys, Wipro or TCS?
One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk.
"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"
Why not, said the other two.
The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm".
Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.
As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put...
Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him..
The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"
So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again...
Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder!
The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run".
And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go.
So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death!
The other two surrendered.
They Said: "OK, we give up.
You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.
"Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it started crying.
And then I told that I was here for recruitment !!!
One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk.
"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"
Why not, said the other two.
The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm".
Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still.
As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put...
Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him..
The other two were astonished. So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"
So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again...
Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh! It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder!
The other two just could not believe their eyes! So the tcs guy said "OK, you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you. Let's make this monkey run".
And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go.
So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if it was scared to death!
The other two surrendered.
They Said: "OK, we give up.
You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.
"Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid ...so it started crying.
And then I told that I was here for recruitment !!!
Excellence !!!..
Excellence...
A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"
The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency...
A German once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage." The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?"
The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked. The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."
The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. "Excellence" is a drive from inside, not outside. Excellence is not for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency...
Go through it:::::::: HR Deptt.
Office Humour:
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
Promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he
Decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him,
smiled and asked him to sit down saying: "My friend you have not
Worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear
this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:
How many days are there in a year?
Man:
365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager:
How many hours make up a day?
Man:
24 Hours.
Manager:
How long do u work in a day?
Man:
10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day.
Manager:
So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Man:
He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager:
This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Man:
122(1/3 x 366=122 in days)
Manager:
Do u come to work on weekends?
Man:
No sir.
Manager:
How many days r there in a year that r weekends?
Man:
52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager:
Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how
many days do u
now have?
Man:
18 days.
Manager:
I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that
14 days from
the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Man:
4 days.
Manager:
Do u work on Republic Day?
Man:
No sir!
Manager:
Do u come to work on Independence Day?
Man:
No sir!
Manager:
So how many days r left?
Man:
2 days Sir!
Manager:
Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Man:
No sir!
Manager:
So how many days r left?
Man:
1 day sir!
Manager:
Does u work on Christmas Day?
Man:
No Sir!
Manager:
So how many days r left?
Man:
None Sir!
Manager:
So what r u claiming?
Man:
!!!...
Moral-NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR = HIGH RISK
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been
Promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation. So he
Decided to walk up to his HR Manager. His manager looked at him,
smiled and asked him to sit down saying: "My friend you have not
Worked here for even a single day." The man was surprised to hear
this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:
How many days are there in a year?
Man:
365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager:
How many hours make up a day?
Man:
24 Hours.
Manager:
How long do u work in a day?
Man:
10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day.
Manager:
So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Man:
He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager:
This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Man:
122(1/3 x 366=122 in days)
Manager:
Do u come to work on weekends?
Man:
No sir.
Manager:
How many days r there in a year that r weekends?
Man:
52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager:
Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how
many days do u
now have?
Man:
18 days.
Manager:
I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that
14 days from
the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Man:
4 days.
Manager:
Do u work on Republic Day?
Man:
No sir!
Manager:
Do u come to work on Independence Day?
Man:
No sir!
Manager:
So how many days r left?
Man:
2 days Sir!
Manager:
Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Man:
No sir!
Manager:
So how many days r left?
Man:
1 day sir!
Manager:
Does u work on Christmas Day?
Man:
No Sir!
Manager:
So how many days r left?
Man:
None Sir!
Manager:
So what r u claiming?
Man:
!!!...
Moral-NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR = HIGH RISK
One Line Humor... Have a Smiling Day...
One Line Humor
[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while
driving.
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but
they wanted cash.
[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.
[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.
[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll
take it anyway.
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees
with me.
[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.
[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than
doing them.
[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he
still ends up with the same boss.
[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books.
[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done
it for you.
[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something
[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father
seldom gets to speak!
[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality
just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's
like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has
it.
[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has
it!
[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while
driving.
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but
they wanted cash.
[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.
[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.
[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll
take it anyway.
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees
with me.
[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.
[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than
doing them.
[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he
still ends up with the same boss.
[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books.
[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done
it for you.
[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something
[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father
seldom gets to speak!
[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality
just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's
like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has
it.
[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has
it!
Great Sentences
1. IN A DAY, WHEN YOU DON'T COME ACROSS ANY PROBLEMS - YOU CAN BE SURE THAT YOU ARE TRAVELLING IN A WRONG PATH - SWAMI VIVEKANANDA
2. 3 SENTENCES FOR GETTING SUCCESS
a) KNOW MORE THAN OTHER
B) WORK MORE THAN OTHER
C) EXPECT LESS THAN OTHER - WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
3.IF YOU WIN YOU NEED NOT EXPLAIN ... BUT IF YOU LOSE YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE TO EXPLAIN - ADOLPH HITLER
4)DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH ANYONE IN THIS WORLD .IF YOU DO SO, YOU ARE INSULTING YOURSELF - ALEN STRIKE
5)IF WE CANNOT LOVE THE PERSON WHOM WE SEE,HOW CAN WE LOVE GOD,WHOM WE CANNOT SEE ? --- MOTHER THERESA
6)NO MAN IS RICH ENOUGH TO BUY HIS PAST - - OSCAR WILDE
7) IF YOU WANT REAL PEACE DON'T TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS , TALK WITH YOUR ENEMIES - - - MOTHER THERESA
8) WINNING DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BEING FIRST , WINNING MEANS YOU'RE DOING BETTER THAN YOU'VE DONE BEFORE - - - BONNIE BLAIR
9) EVERYONE THINKS OF CHANGING THE WORLD , BUT NO ONE THINKS OF CHANGING HIMSELF . - - - LEO TOLSTOY
10) I WILL NOT SAY I FAILED 1000 TIMES , I WILL SAY THAT I DISCOVERED THERE ARE 1000 WAYS THAT CAN CAUSE FAILURE - - THOMAS EDISON
11) BELIEVING EVERYBODY IS DANGEROUS; BELIEVING NOBODY IS VERY DANGEROUS -- ABRAHAM LINCOLN
12) LOVE YOUR JOB BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNEW WHEN IT STOPS LOVING YOU ... - - N R NARAYANAMURTHY
13) IF SOMEONE FEELS THAT THEY HAD NEVER MADE A MISTAKE IN THEIR LIFE,THEN IT MEANS THEY HAD NEVER TRIED A NEW THING IN THEIR LIFE - - - - - EINSTEIN
14) NEVER BREAK FOUR THINGS IN YOUR LIFE
TRUST ,PROMISE,RELATION, HEART BECAUSE WHEN THEY BREAK THEY DON'T MAKE NOISE BUT PAINS A LOT â€" CHARLES
15) IF YOU START JUDGING PEOPLE YOU WILL BE HAVING NO TIME TO LOVE THEM - - - - - MOTHER THERESA
2. 3 SENTENCES FOR GETTING SUCCESS
a) KNOW MORE THAN OTHER
B) WORK MORE THAN OTHER
C) EXPECT LESS THAN OTHER - WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
3.IF YOU WIN YOU NEED NOT EXPLAIN ... BUT IF YOU LOSE YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE TO EXPLAIN - ADOLPH HITLER
4)DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH ANYONE IN THIS WORLD .IF YOU DO SO, YOU ARE INSULTING YOURSELF - ALEN STRIKE
5)IF WE CANNOT LOVE THE PERSON WHOM WE SEE,HOW CAN WE LOVE GOD,WHOM WE CANNOT SEE ? --- MOTHER THERESA
6)NO MAN IS RICH ENOUGH TO BUY HIS PAST - - OSCAR WILDE
7) IF YOU WANT REAL PEACE DON'T TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS , TALK WITH YOUR ENEMIES - - - MOTHER THERESA
8) WINNING DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN BEING FIRST , WINNING MEANS YOU'RE DOING BETTER THAN YOU'VE DONE BEFORE - - - BONNIE BLAIR
9) EVERYONE THINKS OF CHANGING THE WORLD , BUT NO ONE THINKS OF CHANGING HIMSELF . - - - LEO TOLSTOY
10) I WILL NOT SAY I FAILED 1000 TIMES , I WILL SAY THAT I DISCOVERED THERE ARE 1000 WAYS THAT CAN CAUSE FAILURE - - THOMAS EDISON
11) BELIEVING EVERYBODY IS DANGEROUS; BELIEVING NOBODY IS VERY DANGEROUS -- ABRAHAM LINCOLN
12) LOVE YOUR JOB BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNEW WHEN IT STOPS LOVING YOU ... - - N R NARAYANAMURTHY
13) IF SOMEONE FEELS THAT THEY HAD NEVER MADE A MISTAKE IN THEIR LIFE,THEN IT MEANS THEY HAD NEVER TRIED A NEW THING IN THEIR LIFE - - - - - EINSTEIN
14) NEVER BREAK FOUR THINGS IN YOUR LIFE
TRUST ,PROMISE,RELATION, HEART BECAUSE WHEN THEY BREAK THEY DON'T MAKE NOISE BUT PAINS A LOT â€" CHARLES
15) IF YOU START JUDGING PEOPLE YOU WILL BE HAVING NO TIME TO LOVE THEM - - - - - MOTHER THERESA
Nice Break up..........
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his
girl friend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent
to you.
Love,
Becky
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There
were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky
Moral of the story:
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude !!
girl friend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent
to you.
Love,
Becky
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any
snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other
pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There
were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky
Moral of the story:
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude !!
Interesting.....Don't miss last Questions... 'job hopper'
Dear All,
Interesting.....Don't miss last Questions...
Some, rather most organizations are rejecting his CV today because he has
changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the 'job hopper'
(referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it.... well he does not need to
mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in
just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the 'company
loyal' employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys - the difference being the
latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of
years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH:
Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the
second time.
Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global
economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003
when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a
year without job and with compromises.
Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.
Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to
make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I
had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved
after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to
justify the saying 'employer loyalty'. But I was an idiot.
Q: Why do you say so?
A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not
save enough and also, I had thought that I had a 'permanent' job, so I
need not worry about 'what will I do if I lose my job'. I could never
imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my
performance. That was January 2002.
Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.
A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being 'company loyal' and not 'money
earning and saving loyal'. But then you can save enough only when you
earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving - I
changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my
stability.
Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change
the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?
A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are
hiring. You tell me - can I get a job now because of the slowdown?
No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market
is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford
the expected salaries.
Q: What have you gained by doing such things?
A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed
salary (without variables) of say Rest. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary
was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last
drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never
bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go
through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike.
Q: So you decided on your own hike?
A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it
had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown
would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a 'debt-free' life before being
laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without
waiting for the year to complete.
Q: So are you debt-free now?
A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so
little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq. feet) plus a
loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too
but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it
is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.
Q: Who is complaining?
A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are
complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not
have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their
company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me -
why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still
in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.
Q: What is your advice to professionals?
A: Like Narayan Murthy had said - love your job and not your company
because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the
same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's
needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain
the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money
for the company, not the other way around.
Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?
A: When a company does well, its CEO etc will address the entire company
saying, 'well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am
with you." But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so
well, the same CEO etc will say, "It is MY company and to save the
company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go."
So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off,
your kids will complain to you and not your boss.
Interesting.....Don't miss last Questions...
Some, rather most organizations are rejecting his CV today because he has
changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the 'job hopper'
(referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it.... well he does not need to
mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer companies in
just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of the 'company
loyal' employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys - the difference being the
latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in the same number of
years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with Mr. JH:
Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the
second time.
Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global
economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003
when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a
year without job and with compromises.
Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.
Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs to
make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I
had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved
after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to
justify the saying 'employer loyalty'. But I was an idiot.
Q: Why do you say so?
A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not
save enough and also, I had thought that I had a 'permanent' job, so I
need not worry about 'what will I do if I lose my job'. I could never
imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of my
performance. That was January 2002.
Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.
A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being 'company loyal' and not 'money
earning and saving loyal'. But then you can save enough only when you
earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and saving - I
changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers about my
stability.
Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change
the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?
A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies are
hiring. You tell me - can I get a job now because of the slowdown?
No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market
is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford
the expected salaries.
Q: What have you gained by doing such things?
A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed
salary (without variables) of say Rest. X p.a. In January 2009, my salary
was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003, my last
drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without variable). I never
bothered about variable as I had no intention to stay for 1 year and go
through the appraisal process to wait for the company to give me a hike.
Q: So you decided on your own hike?
A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like it
had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next slowdown
would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a 'debt-free' life before being
laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly basis without
waiting for the year to complete.
Q: So are you debt-free now?
A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent so
little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq. feet) plus a
loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off too
but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for money, it
is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.
Q: Who is complaining?
A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are
complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do not
have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their
company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me -
why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were still
in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.
Q: What is your advice to professionals?
A: Like Narayan Murthy had said - love your job and not your company
because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the
same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the company's
needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will always remain
the same. Make money for yourself first and simultaneously make money
for the company, not the other way around.
Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?
A: When a company does well, its CEO etc will address the entire company
saying, 'well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard work, I am
with you." But when the slowdown happens and the company does not do so
well, the same CEO etc will say, "It is MY company and to save the
company, I have to take tough decisions including asking people to go."
So think about your financial stability first; when you get laid off,
your kids will complain to you and not your boss.
Test your Basic General Knowledge
1. Jawaharlal Nehru was the _______ of Indira Gandhi’s Father. ?
2. Make a grammatically correct sentence by using the verb "IS" immediately after the word "I"
3. I am having two coins of Indian currency in my pocket, the total value of which comes to 75 paisa. But mind you, one of the coins is not a fifty paisa coin. How it is possible?
4. What is taken from you before it is given to you?
5.Eventhough it belongs to you, usually others use it, What?
FOR ANSWERS,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
1. "NAME"
2."I" is a pronoun. or "I" is the 9th letter of the English Alphabet.
3.I said "ONE" of the coins, not "NONE". So they are 50 and 25 paisa coins.
4.Your Photo
5.Your Name.
2. Make a grammatically correct sentence by using the verb "IS" immediately after the word "I"
3. I am having two coins of Indian currency in my pocket, the total value of which comes to 75 paisa. But mind you, one of the coins is not a fifty paisa coin. How it is possible?
4. What is taken from you before it is given to you?
5.Eventhough it belongs to you, usually others use it, What?
FOR ANSWERS,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
1. "NAME"
2."I" is a pronoun. or "I" is the 9th letter of the English Alphabet.
3.I said "ONE" of the coins, not "NONE". So they are 50 and 25 paisa coins.
4.Your Photo
5.Your Name.
Really Amazing, nice reply from JP Morgan
A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough. I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...
signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO Morgan Group.
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York . My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough. I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty
Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...
signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO Morgan Group.
jobs
Hi all,
We are looking for bright & dynamic fresh Engineering graduates to be a part of our India Design Centre (IDC)
ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA:
Qualification : BE (Mechanical/Computer Science/Electronics & Communication) or ME/Mtech (Mechanical)
Cut off percentage : 70% (overall 8 semester aggregate) with no backlogs
Experience level : 0- 1 year
So…….go ahead, refer your friends & help them to start their career!!
Please mail the relevant resumes to the below given email ID, mentioning the branch & percentage of the applicants in the subject line.
Mail ID : join.us@goodrich.com
We are looking for bright & dynamic fresh Engineering graduates to be a part of our India Design Centre (IDC)
ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA:
Qualification : BE (Mechanical/Computer Science/Electronics & Communication) or ME/Mtech (Mechanical)
Cut off percentage : 70% (overall 8 semester aggregate) with no backlogs
Experience level : 0- 1 year
So…….go ahead, refer your friends & help them to start their career!!
Please mail the relevant resumes to the below given email ID, mentioning the branch & percentage of the applicants in the subject line.
Mail ID : join.us@goodrich.com
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Things Can turn around
City boy, Raj , moved to the village and bought a donkey from an old farmer for Rs.1000. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said , "Sorry Raj-ji, but I have some bad news. The donkey died while I was bringing him here."
Raj replied : "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said : "Can't do that either. I went and spent it already."
Raj said : "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked: "What you are going to do with a dead donkey?!"
Raj : "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: Raffle is like lottery - a group of people draw lots each paying the same amount for a ticket and there is a big prize for the people who win.)
Farmer : "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Raj : "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Raj and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Raj : "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at Rs.10 each and made a profit of Rs.4990 with the donkey worth Rs.1000 as the prize."
Farmer : "Didn't anyone complain?"
Raj : "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his Rs.10"
The next day the farmer drove up and said , "Sorry Raj-ji, but I have some bad news. The donkey died while I was bringing him here."
Raj replied : "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said : "Can't do that either. I went and spent it already."
Raj said : "OK then, just unload the donkey."
The farmer asked: "What you are going to do with a dead donkey?!"
Raj : "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: Raffle is like lottery - a group of people draw lots each paying the same amount for a ticket and there is a big prize for the people who win.)
Farmer : "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Raj : "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Raj and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Raj : "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at Rs.10 each and made a profit of Rs.4990 with the donkey worth Rs.1000 as the prize."
Farmer : "Didn't anyone complain?"
Raj : "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his Rs.10"
Surprise....click it---- drag it-------- do any thing
Click on the below link. You will get a black page. Click your mouse anywhere (& everywhere) on the page & see what happens! Better yet, click & drag your mouse over the black page.
http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf
http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf
Once again-Superb Sardarji Jokes....
Sardarji Jokes
Joke 1
Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
Joke 2
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there....... ...... Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there
Joke 3
A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up. U know y?
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".
Joke 4
A sardar invested 5 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab village!.
Joke 5
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Joke 6
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup..
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
Joke 7
19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...
Joke 8
A sardar ji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
Joke 9
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
Joke 10
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
Joke 11
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth....... ......... .
WHY?
because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"_-=
Joke 12
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
Joke 13
SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I SARDAR,SHE
SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....
Joke 14
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Joke 15
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Joke 16
Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa
Joke 17
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR
ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Joke 18
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
Joke 19
A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch network is following me.
Joke 20
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!
Joke 21
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Joke 22
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
Joke 23
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
Joke 24
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to
you'........ ...Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
Joke 25
WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.
Joke 26
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly..... .
Wife asks why....
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
Joke 27
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..
Joke 28
Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
Joke 29
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
Joke 30
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
Joke 31
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Joke 32
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words..
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"
Joke 33
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-I m seeing how i look while sleeping.
Joke 1
Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
Joke 2
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there....... ...... Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there
Joke 3
A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up. U know y?
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".
Joke 4
A sardar invested 5 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab village!.
Joke 5
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Joke 6
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup..
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
Joke 7
19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...
Joke 8
A sardar ji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
Joke 9
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
Joke 10
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
Joke 11
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth....... ......... .
WHY?
because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"_-=
Joke 12
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
Joke 13
SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I SARDAR,SHE
SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....
Joke 14
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Joke 15
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Joke 16
Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa
Joke 17
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR
ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Joke 18
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
Joke 19
A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch network is following me.
Joke 20
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!
Joke 21
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Joke 22
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
Joke 23
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
Joke 24
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to
you'........ ...Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
Joke 25
WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.
Joke 26
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly..... .
Wife asks why....
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
Joke 27
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..
Joke 28
Sardar at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
Joke 29
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
Joke 30
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
Joke 31
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Joke 32
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words..
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"
Joke 33
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-I m seeing how i look while sleeping.
Very Very IMPORTANT - What is ICE?
We all carry our mobile phones with names & numbers stored in its memory but nobody, other than ourselves, knows which of these numbers belong to our closest family or friends.
If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) Campaign
The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" ( In Case Of Emergency).
The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as "ICE."
For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!
Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our Mobile phones today!
If we were to be involved in an accident or were taken ill, the people attending us would have our mobile phone but wouldn't know who to call. Yes, there are hundreds of numbers stored but which one is the contact person in case of an emergency? Hence this "ICE" (In Case of Emergency) Campaign
The concept of "ICE" is catching on quickly. It is a method of contact during emergency situations. As cell phones are carried by the majority of the population, all you need to do is store the number of a contact person or persons who should be contacted during emergency under the name "ICE" ( In Case Of Emergency).
The idea was thought up by a paramedic who found that when he went to the scenes of accidents, there were always mobile phones with patients, but they didn't know which number to call. He therefore thought that it would be a good idea if there was a nationally recognized name for this purpose. In an emergency situation, Emergency Service personnel and hospital Staff would be able to quickly contact the right person by simply dialing the number you have stored as "ICE."
For more than one contact name simply enter ICE1, ICE2 and ICE3 etc. A great idea that will make a difference!
Let's spread the concept of ICE by storing an ICE number in our Mobile phones today!
Great Indians........Spend some time
ARYABHATT
(476 CE) MASTER ASTRONOMER AND MATHEMATICIAN
Born in 476 CE in Kusumpur ( Bihar ), Aryabhatt's intellectual brilliance remapped the boundaries of mathematics and astronomy. In 499 CE, at the age of 23, he wrote a text on astronomy and an unparallel treatise on mathematics called "Aryabhatiyam." He formulated the process of calculating the motion of planets and the time of eclipses. Aryabhatt was the first to proclaim that the earth is round, it rotates on its axis, orbits the sun and is suspended in space - 1000 years before Copernicus published his heliocentric theory. He is also acknowledged for calculating p (Pi) to four decimal places: 3.1416 and the sine table in trigonometry. Centuries later, in 825 CE, the Arab mathematician, Mohammed Ibna Musa credited the value of Pi to the Indians, "This value has been given by the Hindus." And above all, his most spectacular contribution was the concept of zero without which modern computer technology would have been non-existent. Aryabhatt was a colossus in the field of mathematics.
BHASKARACHARYA II
(1114-1183 CE)
GENIUS IN ALGEBRA
Born in the obscure village of Vijjadit (Jalgaon) in Maharastra, Bhaskaracharya's work in Algebra, Arithmetic and Geometry catapulted him to fame and immortality. His renowned mathematical works called "Lilavati" and "Bijaganita" are considered to be unparalled and a memorial to his profound intelligence. Its translation in several languages of the world bear testimony to its eminence. In his treatise "Siddhant Shiromani" he writes on planetary positions, eclipses, cosmography, mathematical techniques and astronomical equipment. In the "Surya Siddhant" he makes a note on the force of gravity: "Objects fall on earth due to a force of attraction by the earth. Therefore, the earth, planets, constellations, moon, and sun are held in orbit due to this attraction." Bhaskaracharya was the first to discover gravity, 500 years before Sir Isaac Newton. He was the champion among mathematicians of ancient and medieval India . His works fired the imagination of Persian and European scholars, who through research on his works earned fame and popularity.
ACHARYA KANAD
(600 BCE)
FOUNDER OF ATOMIC THEORY
As the founder of "Vaisheshik Darshan"- one of six principal philosophies of India - Acharya Kanad was a genius in philosophy. He is believed to have been born in Prabhas Kshetra near Dwarika in Gujarat . He was the pioneer expounder of realism, law of causation and the atomic theory. He has classified all the objects of creation into nine elements, namely: earth, water, light, wind, ether, time, space, mind and soul. He says, "Every object of creation is made of atoms which in turn connect with each other to form molecules." His statement ushered in the Atomic Theory for the first time ever in the world, nearly 2500 years before John Dalton. Kanad has also described the dimension and motion of atoms and their chemical reactions with each other. The eminent historian, T.N. Colebrook, has said, "Compared to the scientists of Europe , Kanad and other Indian scientists were the global masters of this field."
NAGARJUNA (100 CE)
WIZARD OF CHEMICAL SCIENCE
He was an extraordinary wizard of science born in the nondescript village of Baluka in Madhya Pradesh. His dedicated research for twelve years produced maiden discoveries and inventions in the faculties of chemistry and metallurgy. Textual masterpieces like "Ras Ratnakar," "Rashrudaya" and "Rasendramangal" are his renowned contributions to the science of chemistry. Where the medieval alchemists of England failed, Nagarjuna had discovered the alchemy of transmuting base metals into gold. As the author of medical books like "Arogyamanjari" and "Yogasar," he also made significant contributions to the field of curative medicine. Because of his profound scholarliness and versatile knowledge, he was appointed as Chancellor of the famous University of Nalanda . Nagarjuna's milestone discoveries impress and astonish the scientists of today.
ACHARYA CHARAK
(600 BCE)
FATHER OF MEDICINE
Acharya Charak has been crowned as the Father of Medicine. His renowned work, the "Charak Samhita", is considered as an encyclopedia of Ayurveda. His principles, diagoneses, and cures retain their potency and truth even after a couple of millennia. When the science of anatomy was confused with different theories in Europe , Acharya Charak revealed through his innate genius and enquiries the facts on human anatomy, embryology, pharmacology, blood circulation and diseases like diabetes, tuberculosis, heart disease, etc. In the "Charak Samhita" he has described the medicinal qualities and functions of 100,000 herbal plants. He has emphasized the influence of diet and activity on mind and body. He has proved the correlation of spirituality and physical health contributed greatly to diagnostic and curative sciences. He has also prescribed and ethical charter for medical practitioners two centuries prior to the Hippocratic oath. Through his genius and intuition, Acharya Charak made landmark contributions to Ayurvedal. He forever remains etched in the annals of history as one of the greatest and noblest of rishi-scientists.
ACHARYA SUSHRUT (600 BCE)
FATHER OF PLASTIC SURGERY
A genius who has been glowingly recognized in the annals of medical science. Born to sage Vishwamitra, Acharya Sudhrut details the first ever surgery procedures in "Sushrut Samhita," a unique encyclopedia of surgery. He is venerated as the father of plastic surgery and the science of anesthesia. When surgery was in its infancy in Europe , Sushrut was performing Rhinoplasty (restoration of a damaged nose) and other challenging operations. In the "Sushrut Samhita," he prescribes treatment for twelve types of fractures and six types of dislocations. His details on human embryology are simply amazing. Sushrut used 125 types of surgical instruments including scalpels, lancets, needles, Cathers and rectal speculums; mostly designed from the jaws of animals and birds. He has also described a number of stitching methods; the use of horse's hair as thread and fibers of bark. In the "Sushrut Samhita," and fibers of bark. In the "Sushrut Samhita," he details 300 types of operations. The ancient Indians were the pioneers in amputation, caesarian and cranial surgeries. Acharya Sushrut was a giant in the arena of medical science.
VARAHAMIHIR (499-587 CE)
EMINENT ASTROLOGER AND ASTRONOMERA
renowned astrologer and astronomer who was honored with a special decoration and status as one of the nine gems in the court of King Vikramaditya in Avanti ( Ujjain ). Varahamihir's book "panchsiddhant" holds a prominent place in the realm of astronomy. He notes that the moon and planets are lustrous not because of their own light but due to sunlight. In the "Bruhad Samhita" and "Bruhad Jatak," he has revealed his discoveries in the domains of geography, constellation, science, botany and animal science. In his treatise on botanical science, Varamihir presents cures for various diseases afflicting plants and trees. The rishi-scientist survives through his unique contributions to the science of astrology and astronomy.
ACHARYA PATANJALI (200 BCE)
FATHER OF YOGA
The Science of Yoga is one of several unique contributions of India to the world. It seeks to discover and realize the ultimate Reality through yogic practices. Acharya Patanjali, the founder, hailed from the district of Gonda (Ganara) in Uttar Pradesh. He prescribed the control of prana (life breath) as the means to control the body, mind and soul. This subsequently rewards one with good health and inner happiness. Acharya Patanjali's 84 yogic postures effectively enhance the efficiency of the respiratory, circulatory, nervous, digestive and endocrine systems and many other organs of the body. Yoga has eight limbs where Acharya Patanjali shows the attainment of the ultimate bliss of God in samadhi through the disciplines of: yam, niyam, asan, pranayam, pratyahar, dhyan and dharna. The Science of Yoga has gained popularity because of its scientific approach and benefits. Yoga also holds the honored place as one of six philosophies in the Indian philosophical system. Acharya Patanjali will forever be remembered and revered as a pioneer in the science of self-discipline, happiness and self-realization.
ACHARYA BHARADWAJ (800 BCE)
PIONEER OF AVIATION TECHNOLOGY
Acharya Bharadwaj had a hermitage in the holy city of Prayag and was an ordent apostle of Ayurveda and mechanical sciences. He authored the "Yantra Sarvasva" which includes astonishing and outstanding discoveries in aviation science, space science and flying machines. He has described three categories of flying machines: 1.) One that flies on earth from one place to another. 2.) One that travels from one planet to another. 3.) And One that travels from one universe to another. His designs and descriptions have impressed and amazed aviation engineers of today. His brilliance in aviation technology is further reflected through techniques described by him:
1.) Profound Secret: The technique to make a flying machine invisible through the application of sunlight and wind force.
2.) Living Secret: The technique to make an invisible space machine visible through the application of electrical force.
3.) Secret of Eavesdropping: The technique to listen to a conversation in another plane.
4.) Visual Secrets: The technique to see what's happening inside another plane.
Through his innovative and brilliant discoveries, Acharya Bharadwaj has been recognized as the pioneer of aviation technology.
ACHARYA KAPIL (3000 BCE)
FATHER OF COSMOLOGY
Celebrated as the founder of Sankhya philosophy, Acharya Kapil is believed to have been born in 3000 BCE to the illustrious sage Kardam and Devhuti. He gifted the world with the Sankhya School of Thought. His pioneering work threw light on the nature and principles of the ultimate Soul (Purusha), primal matter (Prakruti) and creation. His concept of transformation of energy and profound commentaries on atma, non-atma and the subtle elements of the cosmos places him in an elite class of master achievers - incomparable to the discoveries of other cosmologists. On his assertion that Prakruti, with the inspiration of Purusha, is the mother of cosmic creation and all energies, he contributed a new chapter in the science of cosmology. Because of his extrasensory observations and revelations on the secrets of creation, he is recognized and saluted as the Father of Cosmology.
(476 CE) MASTER ASTRONOMER AND MATHEMATICIAN
Born in 476 CE in Kusumpur ( Bihar ), Aryabhatt's intellectual brilliance remapped the boundaries of mathematics and astronomy. In 499 CE, at the age of 23, he wrote a text on astronomy and an unparallel treatise on mathematics called "Aryabhatiyam." He formulated the process of calculating the motion of planets and the time of eclipses. Aryabhatt was the first to proclaim that the earth is round, it rotates on its axis, orbits the sun and is suspended in space - 1000 years before Copernicus published his heliocentric theory. He is also acknowledged for calculating p (Pi) to four decimal places: 3.1416 and the sine table in trigonometry. Centuries later, in 825 CE, the Arab mathematician, Mohammed Ibna Musa credited the value of Pi to the Indians, "This value has been given by the Hindus." And above all, his most spectacular contribution was the concept of zero without which modern computer technology would have been non-existent. Aryabhatt was a colossus in the field of mathematics.
BHASKARACHARYA II
(1114-1183 CE)
GENIUS IN ALGEBRA
Born in the obscure village of Vijjadit (Jalgaon) in Maharastra, Bhaskaracharya's work in Algebra, Arithmetic and Geometry catapulted him to fame and immortality. His renowned mathematical works called "Lilavati" and "Bijaganita" are considered to be unparalled and a memorial to his profound intelligence. Its translation in several languages of the world bear testimony to its eminence. In his treatise "Siddhant Shiromani" he writes on planetary positions, eclipses, cosmography, mathematical techniques and astronomical equipment. In the "Surya Siddhant" he makes a note on the force of gravity: "Objects fall on earth due to a force of attraction by the earth. Therefore, the earth, planets, constellations, moon, and sun are held in orbit due to this attraction." Bhaskaracharya was the first to discover gravity, 500 years before Sir Isaac Newton. He was the champion among mathematicians of ancient and medieval India . His works fired the imagination of Persian and European scholars, who through research on his works earned fame and popularity.
ACHARYA KANAD
(600 BCE)
FOUNDER OF ATOMIC THEORY
As the founder of "Vaisheshik Darshan"- one of six principal philosophies of India - Acharya Kanad was a genius in philosophy. He is believed to have been born in Prabhas Kshetra near Dwarika in Gujarat . He was the pioneer expounder of realism, law of causation and the atomic theory. He has classified all the objects of creation into nine elements, namely: earth, water, light, wind, ether, time, space, mind and soul. He says, "Every object of creation is made of atoms which in turn connect with each other to form molecules." His statement ushered in the Atomic Theory for the first time ever in the world, nearly 2500 years before John Dalton. Kanad has also described the dimension and motion of atoms and their chemical reactions with each other. The eminent historian, T.N. Colebrook, has said, "Compared to the scientists of Europe , Kanad and other Indian scientists were the global masters of this field."
NAGARJUNA (100 CE)
WIZARD OF CHEMICAL SCIENCE
He was an extraordinary wizard of science born in the nondescript village of Baluka in Madhya Pradesh. His dedicated research for twelve years produced maiden discoveries and inventions in the faculties of chemistry and metallurgy. Textual masterpieces like "Ras Ratnakar," "Rashrudaya" and "Rasendramangal" are his renowned contributions to the science of chemistry. Where the medieval alchemists of England failed, Nagarjuna had discovered the alchemy of transmuting base metals into gold. As the author of medical books like "Arogyamanjari" and "Yogasar," he also made significant contributions to the field of curative medicine. Because of his profound scholarliness and versatile knowledge, he was appointed as Chancellor of the famous University of Nalanda . Nagarjuna's milestone discoveries impress and astonish the scientists of today.
ACHARYA CHARAK
(600 BCE)
FATHER OF MEDICINE
Acharya Charak has been crowned as the Father of Medicine. His renowned work, the "Charak Samhita", is considered as an encyclopedia of Ayurveda. His principles, diagoneses, and cures retain their potency and truth even after a couple of millennia. When the science of anatomy was confused with different theories in Europe , Acharya Charak revealed through his innate genius and enquiries the facts on human anatomy, embryology, pharmacology, blood circulation and diseases like diabetes, tuberculosis, heart disease, etc. In the "Charak Samhita" he has described the medicinal qualities and functions of 100,000 herbal plants. He has emphasized the influence of diet and activity on mind and body. He has proved the correlation of spirituality and physical health contributed greatly to diagnostic and curative sciences. He has also prescribed and ethical charter for medical practitioners two centuries prior to the Hippocratic oath. Through his genius and intuition, Acharya Charak made landmark contributions to Ayurvedal. He forever remains etched in the annals of history as one of the greatest and noblest of rishi-scientists.
ACHARYA SUSHRUT (600 BCE)
FATHER OF PLASTIC SURGERY
A genius who has been glowingly recognized in the annals of medical science. Born to sage Vishwamitra, Acharya Sudhrut details the first ever surgery procedures in "Sushrut Samhita," a unique encyclopedia of surgery. He is venerated as the father of plastic surgery and the science of anesthesia. When surgery was in its infancy in Europe , Sushrut was performing Rhinoplasty (restoration of a damaged nose) and other challenging operations. In the "Sushrut Samhita," he prescribes treatment for twelve types of fractures and six types of dislocations. His details on human embryology are simply amazing. Sushrut used 125 types of surgical instruments including scalpels, lancets, needles, Cathers and rectal speculums; mostly designed from the jaws of animals and birds. He has also described a number of stitching methods; the use of horse's hair as thread and fibers of bark. In the "Sushrut Samhita," and fibers of bark. In the "Sushrut Samhita," he details 300 types of operations. The ancient Indians were the pioneers in amputation, caesarian and cranial surgeries. Acharya Sushrut was a giant in the arena of medical science.
VARAHAMIHIR (499-587 CE)
EMINENT ASTROLOGER AND ASTRONOMERA
renowned astrologer and astronomer who was honored with a special decoration and status as one of the nine gems in the court of King Vikramaditya in Avanti ( Ujjain ). Varahamihir's book "panchsiddhant" holds a prominent place in the realm of astronomy. He notes that the moon and planets are lustrous not because of their own light but due to sunlight. In the "Bruhad Samhita" and "Bruhad Jatak," he has revealed his discoveries in the domains of geography, constellation, science, botany and animal science. In his treatise on botanical science, Varamihir presents cures for various diseases afflicting plants and trees. The rishi-scientist survives through his unique contributions to the science of astrology and astronomy.
ACHARYA PATANJALI (200 BCE)
FATHER OF YOGA
The Science of Yoga is one of several unique contributions of India to the world. It seeks to discover and realize the ultimate Reality through yogic practices. Acharya Patanjali, the founder, hailed from the district of Gonda (Ganara) in Uttar Pradesh. He prescribed the control of prana (life breath) as the means to control the body, mind and soul. This subsequently rewards one with good health and inner happiness. Acharya Patanjali's 84 yogic postures effectively enhance the efficiency of the respiratory, circulatory, nervous, digestive and endocrine systems and many other organs of the body. Yoga has eight limbs where Acharya Patanjali shows the attainment of the ultimate bliss of God in samadhi through the disciplines of: yam, niyam, asan, pranayam, pratyahar, dhyan and dharna. The Science of Yoga has gained popularity because of its scientific approach and benefits. Yoga also holds the honored place as one of six philosophies in the Indian philosophical system. Acharya Patanjali will forever be remembered and revered as a pioneer in the science of self-discipline, happiness and self-realization.
ACHARYA BHARADWAJ (800 BCE)
PIONEER OF AVIATION TECHNOLOGY
Acharya Bharadwaj had a hermitage in the holy city of Prayag and was an ordent apostle of Ayurveda and mechanical sciences. He authored the "Yantra Sarvasva" which includes astonishing and outstanding discoveries in aviation science, space science and flying machines. He has described three categories of flying machines: 1.) One that flies on earth from one place to another. 2.) One that travels from one planet to another. 3.) And One that travels from one universe to another. His designs and descriptions have impressed and amazed aviation engineers of today. His brilliance in aviation technology is further reflected through techniques described by him:
1.) Profound Secret: The technique to make a flying machine invisible through the application of sunlight and wind force.
2.) Living Secret: The technique to make an invisible space machine visible through the application of electrical force.
3.) Secret of Eavesdropping: The technique to listen to a conversation in another plane.
4.) Visual Secrets: The technique to see what's happening inside another plane.
Through his innovative and brilliant discoveries, Acharya Bharadwaj has been recognized as the pioneer of aviation technology.
ACHARYA KAPIL (3000 BCE)
FATHER OF COSMOLOGY
Celebrated as the founder of Sankhya philosophy, Acharya Kapil is believed to have been born in 3000 BCE to the illustrious sage Kardam and Devhuti. He gifted the world with the Sankhya School of Thought. His pioneering work threw light on the nature and principles of the ultimate Soul (Purusha), primal matter (Prakruti) and creation. His concept of transformation of energy and profound commentaries on atma, non-atma and the subtle elements of the cosmos places him in an elite class of master achievers - incomparable to the discoveries of other cosmologists. On his assertion that Prakruti, with the inspiration of Purusha, is the mother of cosmic creation and all energies, he contributed a new chapter in the science of cosmology. Because of his extrasensory observations and revelations on the secrets of creation, he is recognized and saluted as the Father of Cosmology.
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